From The Blog Series… 365 Blogs To Finding Pinocchio A Home
Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to obtain 100% of the energy and courage you need to spend every day of your life doing what needs to be done to achieve what is authentically meant to be? How amazing would it be to live life to your full potential and have nothing stop you? Wouldn’t that be something? I want that! What do I do to get that part of me to be consistent in achieving this current goal and every other one thereafter? That is the question I ask right now as I write Blog # 3.
The past few days I have been working on a number of tasks to getting Pinocchio a home. I took Pinocchio, which I recently finished recording with my friend and producer, Ron Zabrocki, and entered it in two reputable contests: ISC and Annual Mountain Stage New Song Contest. This action is my first step to allowing new possibilities into my life and a chance to gain exposure and win money so I can keep moving abundantly forward on my journey. I refuse to stay small and invisible any longer.
I also just begun to research three specific supervisors to find out about them and what shows they place songs for. With this information, I can see if those shows work with my style of songwriting and music. I have also added them to my social networks to follow their progress and stay close to what they are working on. I remind myself, in the meantime, that what I have stumbled upon is not a race, it is a marathon! So I am training for it as we speak.
So, to backtrack, today is Wednesday, October 26, 2011. I remember about 7 years ago being exposed to so many open doors to get my music heard by professional people in the music industry when I was living in LA. Day in and day out I had doors open for me and all I had to do was simply walk through each one to see what would happen. There was only one problem I faced. I almost never had the money to take bigger steps forward. I was playing small in a big world and I didn’t even realize it. And when I did have the money, I could never save it long enough to make it grow. I was surviving, not living, one day at a time with no back up plan and I never saw that this thing that was stopping me time and time again was a major issue and needed to be taken care of. This thing I am speaking of is self sabotage! Yup.
I see it so clearly now and while I cannot say I will never self sabotage myself ever again, I can say that it is so in my face that I cannot ignore it anymore and now I can do something about it. I have begun to surround myself with a community of people who support my growth and help me stay clear and aware of this self-hating feeling I get when I get near a goal or right after I achieve some success. Now I can choose to reach out for support rather than take a negative hurtful action that will take me back a step on my journey towards finding Pinocchio a home.
Just to be specific on how I have sabotaged myself, here is a little story. About seven years ago I heard of a company called Taxi. It’s the world’s leading Independent Artist and Repertoire Company that gives artists real access to the people in the music business who have the power to sign deals. About eight years ago I was invited into a music group called Circle of Songs created by Jenna Leigh. About nine years ago Jenna Leigh spotted me during my very first days of busking on 3rd Street Promenade back in 2002. That day, she spoke of my talent as a songwriter, and a little while after that conversation she invited me down to perform in one of her songwriter circles. I said yes and showed up! I was in a circle of three established artists that night. I was a newbee, I was intimidated, but I was determined to be a professional musician and songwriter just like they were. Adam Watts was among the three artists. He joined Taxi. Now, I am not sure when he did this, maybe he had already been with Taxi when we met that night, but I only found out a few years later at The Taxi Road Rally I attended in LA. A handful of music friends over the years had mentioned Taxi and requested that I try it out. They said it was worth a shot to spend the $300, try it for a year or so and see what happened. I never joined. I never had the money, and when I did, I would spend it so quickly, I’d wonder how it disappeared, and then, I had a good excuse for why I could not join it. My fear and my ego took over when it had no place to do so. Joining Taxi would have given me a real chance to get my music to legitimate people in the industry that needed music for their projects and artists. I felt too scared of playing this game fully and I can see now why I avoided Taxi like the plague since then. In my warped reality, I could do it on my own, I could be discovered busking on 3rd St Promenade, Highland & Hollywood, at farmers markets and festivals all over town. Yes, I would keep control and stay away from the industry and the politics. My ego was the root to stopping me every time!
If you are wondering what Adam Watts accomplished from his joining Taxi? He’s done absolutely fabulous and he truly deserves it. He’s a great songwriter, in my opinion. I was an immediate fan the night we played together back in 2002. Some of the projects he has written for are: High School Musical (2006), High School Musical 3: Senior Year (2008), The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008) and Lemonade Mouth (2011).
So, today I take a step forward on this journey to finding Pinocchio a home and I do this by joining Taxi. I am letting go of the ego, letting go of control and taking on the possibility of having a beautiful future. I am ready and willing to get out of my own way and see what that leads to. I refuse to allow that voice inside of my head to stop me anymore. Yes, that is a promise. I am tired of playing small in this big abundant world.
And so here’s to another day of walking along a different path to finding Pinocchio a home…