From The Blog Series… 365 Blogs To Finding Pinocchio A Home
Where should I begin? I think I want to talk about this tendency I’ve had, pretty much my whole life, of putting my time and energy into having to be right, rather than putting that time and energy towards being happy. It’s utterly exhausting and pointless! How many times have you heard that statement? “Do you wanna be right, or do you want to be happy?” Well, I know what my answer is at this stage of the game. I want to be happy, and being right is no longer an option for me.
What has being right gotten me so far, anyway? Let’s see… hmmm…. To be 100% honest, and this in very humbling and embarrassing to say, but I’ll say it because I want to get this point across clearly. Being right has gotten me into unhealthy relationships over and over and over again. It’s kept me oh so close to reaching my musical goals, but somehow oh so far away. It’s kept my true heart hidden and my intellect strong. It’s created a false sense of security and a warped sense of reality. It’s made me think that I deserve it all because I work so damn hard! Yes, being right has kept me in full control! And that’s what I’ve always wanted, isn’t it? To be in control? Day in and day out? Protecting myself from never getting hurt, never feeling pain, never finding out what could be, if only…? What was I thinking? What was I doing? Being right pretty much gave me a life filled with stress and lacking and insecurity. Now, even though I would never take back the life I have already lived, and I am absolutely happy when I look back at all that I have achieved as a singer, a songwriter, a creator and a person, I do see now how I made myself miserable and how I made my life harder than it had to be. And now, I smile as I am fully aware of who I have been and who I am shifting into. There is no place for that lacking or that tugging stress anymore! Does this sound familiar to any of you? Can you relate to any part of it or is this just me? If it is just me, I’m the odd ball here. But, I say, I’d rather be the “odd ball” here and be happy now!
So, why is this topic even being brought up in a blog about songwriting and finding Pinocchio a good home? Why not? This is perfect! You see, in writing all this here, here on this page, I am standing up, naked, in front of you and I am saying, hey, I am not here to please you, I am not here to brag about anything, I am not here to prove myself right or prove myself wrong. I am here to be a stand for taking one action, after the next action, after the next, and just see what happens. And, when I do get feedback from someone who provides it, like the people at Taxi, which I will be talking about very shortly, I choose to shut my mouth, turn down the Wonder Woman in me, and listen to the feedback. And instead of letting my ego wear it’s cape, I can go back and apply what they tell me to older and newer songs. I want to be happy. I know what being right has gotten me already. And just to be clear here, I am pretty darn happy now, as I write this blog series. Has there been any HUGE reason for this? Not really, I am just aware of my life now and I am truly grateful for all I do have at this present moment. I am at peace with what I am becoming. I can’t really tell you what that is, but it feels warm and fuzzy inside. I like it, I tell ya, I like it!
OK, so now that I just walked naked across Time Square for all you folks, it’s time I put back on some clothes. It is a bit chilly outside! And as I get dressed, I would like to talk about what has come into fuition from three of the actions I have taken recently. First, let’s chat about Sonicbids. Sonicbids is an “online matchmaker” between bands and promoters and provides an electronic way for musicians to send their music to promoters and pitch for a gig, without having to spend lots of money on postage. Promoters can “shop” the site for musicians they like when they’re hunting for new artists. The site also maintains a list of available gigs, festivals, contests, radio stations and music project listings, so bands can see who is looking for artists and throw their hat into the ring when something appealing comes up.
I have been a member for many years and never really used their system to my benefit. Since starting this blog, I have sent 15 submissions in. Four submission responses have already come in. Of those four, one put a smile on my face. Hold your horses, I am about to share it with ya now… Ok, so last week I was informed by The Songwriter’s Network that my song, “He’s Like Strawberry Milk”, would debut on their show on November 19th, this past Saturday, on Bert Gagnon Neon Productions Radio. It aired successfully and the song is now in their rotation. I am grateful for the this baby step success and I do look forward to sharing more good news with you as it comes in.
What’s next? Ah yes, Jango. In a nutshell, Jango is a free internet radio station that plays what listeners want to hear. Since starting this blog, I signed up as an artist and put my music on Jango. The concept is that artists can pay for plays. So, for instance, I paid $30.00 to have 1000 spins of whatever song or songs I allocate those plays to. I can see who’s listening to my song and people can become a fan if they are enjoying my music. This is great as it can grow my fan base, as well as just get people to hear my music. Also, it allows me to target my audience, as well as where, what specific location in the world, I want my song to be played.
The good news is, I found out they were having a christmas song contest and I entered my original chistmas song, “Holiday Cheer”, into it. I recieved an email a few days ago stating that my song made it into their Christmas Station. The Christmas Station it will be played on during this holiday season is: Independent Christmas I will keep you posted with Jango and what occurs as time goes by. Oh, and my station on Jango is: Jen on Jango
So… what’s the name of this game I’ve been playing? “Taking Actions, Taking Actions & Taking More Actions”! Indeed. So, what’s next? How about I chat a bit about the latest on my Taxi adventure into tv and film. Would you like to take a little journey with me down “Critique Lane” with the Taxi Staff? Ya? Really? Cool… Let’s go… Oops…. wait… before we go there, I wanted to say that I already recieved seventeen critiques from them and I have twelve more pending. Of course that’s all changing day in and day out as I submit more, so I will do my best to stay present and up to date with it all.
Ok, so let’s journey into one of those critiques. And I think it’s gonna be for the song, “My Stepping Stone”. Before I explain my internal experience and struggles from the critique process itself, let’s look at what they were asking for below.
Here is the actual listing I submitted to:
FEMALE POWER POP/ROCK SONGS and/or INSTRUMENTALS a la Kelly Clarkson, P!nk, a CURRENT-SOUNDING Pat Benatar, etc. needed by an Independent Music Library/Publisher for the Film/TV placements and licensing. This company has signed and placed dozens of TAXI songs. He’s looking for empowerment songs with universal lyrics that can fit a variety of scenes. (Avoid specific names or storylines.) Lyrics MUST convey a fierce and confident independence from a female perspective. Vocal performances must be fantastic and song structure solid! He offers a five-year deal with a reversion clause for instrumentals and a non-exclusive deal for vocal compositions with a restrictive clause regarding placement in other music libraries . Broadcast Quality needed (excellent home recordings are fine). Please submit one to three songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened and critiqued by TAXI and must be received by Friday, September 30. 2011.
Now, from this listing above, I sent in, “My Stepping Stone”. To hear this song and read the lyrics just go to: JenniferVazquez.com (Promo Code: freesong) And once the song downloads, just go to: Jennifer’s Store to track 9: “My Stepping Stone” and click on “LYRICS”.
Here’s what Taxi had to say. Just to be clear, this song did not pass into the company’s hands:
Hi Jennifer!
Wow, beautiful vocals! Thanks for the submission. This particular listing is seeking female anthemic songs in the vein of Pat Benatar with an edgy sound and universal lyrics. These songs must appeal to a vast audience and be interchangeable within scenes of various films, commercials and tv shows. After reviewing your submission, I felt that your concept “Stepping Stone” was a bit pigeonholed for only certain usage, rather than a vast message. I really loved your vocals and I do like the concept, however I do not feel that it is correct for this listing. I have made a few notes for you regarding how to strengthen your song in the song comment box of your submission. I want to thank you for your submission and urge you to continue writing! Thanks!
And here are further notes:
Great message in this song. Lyrically and conceptually its a bit too pigeonholed for this particular listing. Melodically, would try to find a chorus melody that feels a bit more anthemic and catchy. You don’t have to end on the title “stepping stone” in order to make an impact. Try an alternate chorus, removing all melody and lyric from your head, and see if you can’t do it more justice! If it doesn’t work, at least you’ve tried and theres no harm done! Great start!
Now, what’s the greatest challenge here for me? The greatest challenge here is to not make me right and them wrong, thus making me right, not happy. Let me explain this further. Out of all the songs I have already submitted to Taxi, 99% of them are already recorded professionally and are considered done! So, as I received this comment and many more telling me to change this and restructure that, I felt this sudden volcano about to erupt in my brain! This voice starts to shout, “ I CAN’T DO THIS! It’s gonna cost me more time to edit each song, and then, more money to re-record it! And you know know what? Even if I do this, it won’t garentee me that it will make it passed the next submission I send this song into. And finally… it’s just one person’s opinion and I think this song is just fine the way it is. So, this song stays the way it is! I will find a submission that does fit this song”
Oh yes… this is the ego! This is that little snake that wants to make me right, and therefore, cause me to be unhappy. “Why not remain small and in control? It’s nice to prove people wrong and then just stay stuck in my own rightness.” No way! I am so grateful that I can now clearly notice this voice for what it is. I want to be happy, not right! I already tried being small and invisible as I stated before. It doesn’t work! I want to be happy and what that means to me is attempting to make changes to certain songs. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too. The point is, I am investing in myself and into my career to better my skills as a writer and a creator. It’s a solid step that can allow more doors to open along the way on this journey, rather than there being no possibility for future doors because I already said there is no need to even look any further. And, as for the time and money aspect of it all, well, time is what I make of it, and money can always be made! No excuses. Just actions to be taken. Yup! Now, I will admit I fear the possibility of loosing my present artistic authenticity by editting my songs to another person’s liking, but let’s not jump too far ahead. That always seems to slow me down and make me crash into a wall. I will trust in this journey and I will keep you posted on the rewrites and what I experience from it.
So, to end with, I will say this. When I start to look at this clear vision of becoming a full time singer, songwriter and creator, and making money through tv and film, I feel this surge of energy run through my body that wants to shut down and say, to hell with it. Let’s stay small, invisible and irresponsible. But I cannot do this any longer. I have a skill. That skill is in creating and writing and singing. And it’s my responsibility to do what I must to contribute to society using the gifts I have been given. So, I guess that’s it then. I will continue to follow through with this vision, this journey, from beginning to end, to “365 Blogs To Finding Pinocchio A Home”! Thank’s for listening. I am grateful to share this experience with whoever is reading this out there. I wonder, are you reading this? Am I talking to myself? Does it really matter? Hmmm…